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Memories that Alzheimer's will take away from me: Remembering my dear brother Brian 

7/17/2014

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Gary:  My brother Brian was the closest in age to me of my four brothers. He was blessed with an artistic talent that made others envious. His true talent and in my view the biggest reason he was put on this earth was to make art; any and all kinds of art. Brian didn’t have things easy as a kid in a family of five boys in the small rural area in Ohio we lived in. He was small boned compared to the rest of us Bricker boys and never developed the ridiculous amount of body hair that the rest of us did. He was also gay.  He painted, did sculptures and made pen and ink drawings. As I’ve been writing this I’ve looked over to my right several times because I have a framed graphite pencil drawing of the old oak tree that was on the property where we grew up on in Russell, Ohio. The oak was massive and old, sitting near the creek behind the barn at the old “Homestead” as we used to call it. His drawing perfectly captures the feel of that old oak, still large and looming over the brush, but past its prime and a bit tired.  Looking at it makes me miss him deeply.

                Like me, Brian went to Kent State University. His degree was in Fine Arts and after graduating, Brian worked for a period in Cleveland but before long he moved to New York City to take a job at Avon where he eventually became the Art Director. In that position he was very happy and made many friends who were also his colleagues at work.  Many of them were also gay and I met several of them the few times I went to visit Brian. I remember one time when I was visiting Brian, we went out to dinner and I met some of his gay pals. They all flirted with me in good fun.   

                Sadly, Brian contracted AIDS in the 1990’s.   He died March 2, 1996, with me by his side. I’ll never forget that moment; he was heavily medicated and was not really conscious. As he died he took one long breath and let it out and he was gone. I remember having a sensory moment where I knew his soul had departed. His physician was there with me and told me that “moment” I had was quite common and that he had experienced it many times. He also said there is evidence that there is even a slight loss of body weight at that moment.  After Brian died I took the jade turtle necklace that he always wore off his body, we covered him up with a sheet, I cried some more and said my goodbyes then left the hospital. I then went out with some of Brian’s friends, got drunk then took a taxi back to Brian’s five story walk up apartment on 5th Avenue. To this day I still have his jade turtle necklace and never take it off. It is a constant reminder of my dear brother Brian.
 I want to say that I will never forget that experience, but then again, I have Alzheimer’s and at some point that memory will be gone.

           
Ironically, Brian’s physician is the one that developed the AIDS “cocktail” that allowed so many to have longer, fuller lives. He was doing the testing required for the drugs at the time Brian was there, but Brian was too far gone to qualify.
GB

Below:  "The Old Oak Tree"


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The Long Journey to my diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer's

1/23/2014

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My name is Gary Bricker. I have been diagnosed with “early (or “young”) onset” Alzheimer’s disease.  I am, or more correctly I used to be, a transactional Real Estate Attorney, and as such I primarily created commercial real estate documents such as leases, purchase agreements, construction contracts and the like.  I never worked for a law firm and always worked for companies that owned and/or leased a great deal of real estate due to the needs of their core business, or were companies solely in the real estate business.  Now I can no longer do any legal work and I miss being able to do so. In fact I lost my last two jobs for large companies, one of which was with a national company where I was a Vice President and Corporate Real Estate Counsel. I once was very good at my profession and it filled me with satisfaction to help companies/people get their real estate needs fulfilled.  The realization that this disease was the reason that I lost my last two jobs came hard, but it also answered the question as to why I had struggled so much in those jobs and ultimately lost them.

I am lucky in so many ways, however, mainly because I married a wonderful woman – my wife Lisa.  She and I have begun this new chapter in our lives, dealing with this insidious disease that I have. In a way it has been a blessing to have been diagnosed, because it answered many questions – prior to the diagnosis we had no explanation for my forgetfulness. I thought I might have Attention Deficit Disorder and Lisa thought maybe I was just not paying attention to what was said, etc. because I couldn’t always remember things she talked to me about. Now we have the answer and we have learned so much about Alzheimer’s and other types of Memory Loss, which has helped us to cope with the disease.

As a result of my diagnosis, and the realization that this disease currently has no cure and ends in death, we wish to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.  Unless a cure is found, this disease is going to decimate the Baby Boomer generation – and frankly already has a strangle hold on many of us due to income loss, cost of care and other expenses. Lisa and I decided to create AlzAcrossAmerica – a non-profit organization aimed at creating greater awareness of this disease – to let people that are affected by Alzheimer’s and other memory loss problems know that they are not alone and there is support available to them and the care-partners that assist and support them. We look forward to hearing your stories as we share our stories with you on this journey called "life".
GB

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    Gary & Lisa Bricker

    Gary was diagnosed in 2012 at age 63 with Mild Cognitive Impairment/ Early Onset Alzheimer's. Lisa was 55.   The 8 year journey to his diagnosis was a stream of frustrating experiences and tremendous loss. Gary and Lisa live in Redondo Beach, California and credit friends, family and the Alzheimer's Association with providing them a lifeline to finding purpose once again.          

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